We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
