i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
