He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
