OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Randomize
