problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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