I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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