Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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