finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
