People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
