i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
