Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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