i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
one might say we're banned from that church
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
