OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
