He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
