I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
