I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
