You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
