I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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