Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
