no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I need to calm my uterus...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
