OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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