Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
