just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
