I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
