at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
