Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize