Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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