I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
