You're so nebulous sometimes
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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