So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
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