my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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