no, he came in my armpit
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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