If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think my nap took me to another dimension
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
