OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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