I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
is wine microwaveable?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
