I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
