And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
