Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
