shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
