currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
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