Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
