Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
