i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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