i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
