Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
