I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
