I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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