I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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