Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
