At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
